for sure

historically, the consequences of my drug use included but should not be limited to:

harm to others including family, loved ones, friends, acquaintances and people i’ve only met a couple of times.

conflict with the law.

being institutionalized against my will.

phyical, emotional, spiritual and psychological harm to myself.

i didn’t just use drugs to get by and cope with certain moments. i used drugs to get by and cope with life in its entirety. i used to be able to wake up, to go to sleep, when i was anxious, when i was sad, when i was angry, when life was amazing, when life was alright, when i was hungry, when i hated everything, when i wanted to destroy myself. i used drugs every moment i could.

lots, like lots of other people do not use drugs to cope these ways. and lots, like lots of other people do not face these same consequences because of their alcohol and other drug use. so when i say that i am an addict and have a history of drug addiction, i mean it. and just because i am sober addict today doesn’t absolve the risks i would take at potential causing harm to others or myself. when i say i am sober, i am saying that i do not wish to cause harm to myself or to others. i am saying that i am want to love myself and others, that i want to treat myself with respect and do the same to you. lots of people in my life today have not seen me use alcohol or other drugs and very few have. i’m still not perfect and still make mistakes. the difference today is that i would want to take responsibility and accountability for my mistakes and make it right when i can. before i just wouldn’t care. sobriety is a benefit in my marginal experience because i could lose it in an instant if i pick up. so when i say i am a sober addict in recovery, it means that i am still an addict.

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